My story - fear, shame, loss of self, and my voyage to redemption

My story is going to be posted in stallments. Many times it might seem I go back in history several years only to come back to the present time. This will be necessary though in order to give the full effect of the bias, corruption, sex discrimination against female crime victims, specifically bias and prejudice against female victims of domestic violence. I will first ask you to close your eyes. Picture a woman who has faced insurmountable odds and thinks that she has a great life. She has a husband who while a slight bit odd in his views of women has up until 2005 been responsible, has worked every day of the marriage, supported this woman so she can work out of the home and give their daughter the ability to be at home with her mother. Picture this woman's bewilderment at the sudden change in her husband's demeanor and treatment of her. Imagine her shock and confusion when he starts assaulting her. He grabs her by the hair and throws her around their house. He demands his 'conjugal marital rights' to her and forces himself on her in extremely foul and hurtful ways, forcing her to engage in unwanted sexual contact. This would often leave this woman in severe physical agony. Now imagine this woman's shock when these physical and sexual assaults continue and escalate to the point of extreme fear in this woman. She fears for her life and the life of their child. She has tried to salvage this marriage. She has tried to appease this man. She has done everything she can think to do and when she is allowed a brief respite away from the house with the daughter, she is faced with the daunting task of explaining to the few friends she has remaining, the multiple bruises she has on her neck and her arms. How does she explain the long sleeve turtleneck worn in 80 degree weather? How does she explain her otherwise fun carefree attitude is now replaced with fear and an always on edge attitude? How does she explain the sudden gray shadows under her eyes? How does she explain the loss of self esteem to these people? One of these friends realizes what is happening and tries to counsel this woman. Leave him, she says. There are laws about this in Florida. They will arrest him, she states. HE IS COMITTING A CRIME, she yells! This man holds a gun to his wife's head and insist there will be no divorce. You see this pit I just dug? He yells at the woman, his wife, this person he promised to love honor and cherish? THIS IS YOUR GRAVE! YOU WILL NOT EVER LEAVE ME! Now imagine the shock after making several report to Lake County Florida Sheriff's deputies when this man is not arrested, never charged, never goes to court, and continues with what appears to be the blessing of Gary Borders and many of his paid deputies to continue his terrorization of this woman/mother and you daughter. Imagine if you will that this is your daughter, sister, mother, aunt, cousin, niece, or friend. What would you do? What would you say? Well, I am that woman. I am the mother to that child. And this is what I am doing. I plan to bring the corrupt and biased LCSO and Sheriff Gary Borders and every corrupt officer and employee to light on this blog. As my screen name says, I am no longer that victim. And i refuse to allow a bunch of patriarchal, mysogynistic, power hungry wanna be peace officers take my dignity from me. I will bring this into light and I WILL expose every last wrong action by every person afilliated in any way with LCSO and Sheriff Gary Borders.